But it’s deeper than that.
You see, I LOVE more than anything teaching people to empower themselves and to live the life they have dreamed of but felt like they may not quite achieve.
Why? Because a lot of the time our feelings and thinking gets in the way – you see, we have self-perpetuating habits and patterns that hold us back. I know, because I have been there!
I come up against a situation that leaves me feeling out of sorts. In the moment, I may well say and do things that I later regret. Ok, who am I kidding, of course I go from my gut and tell it like it is from my point of view – and its not very nice for the other person to hear! In fact, what and how I say it, leaves them with no alternative than to fight back and things spiral very quickly out of control. In personal as well as professional relationships.
When I moved from Johannesburg to Australia a few year’s ago, I created the perfect storm for myself with the best of intentions but the unintentional consequences of not fully understanding what I was getting myself into.
You see, I had been surrounded by friends, loved ones; established professionally in a leadership, learning and development community where I was recognised, sought out and handsomely rewarded. I loved what I did and who I did it with. But, I was missing something important in my life: the love of my life.
Then I met and fell in love with a wonderful man who happened to live on the other side of the world!
Idealistically speaking, I honestly thought that due to my experience in working and training people in remote African countries that most people have never had the opportunity of visiting and having succeeded in making a difference in their lives through training and development, I could fit into a culture that at least had a lot more similarities than the communities I had worked in.
Was I wrong or what!!
The first job I had was an absolute disaster. With my passionate approach and eagerness to please, I found myself in trouble in my key workplace relationships. The environment I found myself in was very different to the one I had come from – although I spoke English, my South African English and my workmates’ Australian English were pretty different.
Our approaches to communication and delivery of results was also pretty different.
Very soon, I found myself on the end of misunderstandings which deteriorated into mistrust and suspicion and ultimately led to me being offered the door.
It was a devastating event in my life and one that left me with little self-esteem, unsure of who I was, broken and angry at this new land in which I lived.
Ultimately, when I look back and own up to my end of the outcome, the reason I got into such a conundrum in the first place was because:
- I have learnt that if it is to be, it really is, up to me.
- I have learnt that even though I may not like difficult conversations, they are the conversations that deepen relationships when done with positive intentions and self-control.
- I have learnt that I cannot take for granted that people know and like me straight-up and that I have to set solid boundaries and guidelines upfront to ensure positive relationships can occur.
- I have learnt how to say things constructively and in a way that the other person can hear without getting defensive – and if they do, I can walk away knowing that I was able to maintain my composure and stay “above the line” in terms of my response and actions.
- I have learnt that I am responsible for no one other than my thoughts, feelings, words and actions. What another person says and does, no matter how uncomfortable it may get, is theirs to own.
1. What is Assertiveness?
- A definition
- Overcoming the 4 pain points
- Identifying and setting your boundaries
- Facing your Fears – what are they and how can you release them
2. When and Where to use Assertiveness?
- Public and Private situations – when would either be appropriate
- Using your brain for positive outcomes – brain science has progressed remarkably over the past 5 years alone and I bring the latest research and tools to help you gain clarity and release to move you forward
- Being able to recognise when you need to use and work through the ACT model to calm and collect yourself
- How to decide when to have a difficult or tough discussion
3.Why use Assertiveness?
- Identifying the Importance of Relationships in the Workplace
- Describing how to Use the Human Iceberg to analyse and put in place strategies to assertively gain control of a situation
- Leveraging the Emotional Continuum to adapt your approach and ensure positive outcomes
- Identifying the Difference between Behaviour and Personality
4. How to use Assertiveness?
- Identifying the Power of Voice, Stance and Dress in Assertive Conversations
- Applying the Techniques of Assertiveness to ensure Positive Outcomes and Resolution
- Identifying No-Go Words and Phrases to help you keep Conversations Neutral
- Helping you to identify which of these techniques you can use in what situations for best effect and for the best outcomes
5. Who to turn to for Support?
- Identifying and Working with a Support Team
- How to Get Started
- Celebrating your Wins
- A 30 minute coaching opportunity is included in your online programme – offered either during or after completing the programme!
- All you have to do is contact us to schedule a time with Kerry Anne
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At Skill Junction we are passionate about providing real value and practical solutions to help you grow in your career. So, we have put together a very special Assertiveness Power Pack which will help you implement what you have learnt, super-fast!