- Do you have a tendency to take things personally?
- Do you ruminate and hang onto situations that you feel you should have handled differently?
- Do you feel bad and don’t know why when you have had a difficult conversation?
- Do you have a short fuse around others?
These are all symptoms that you may be taking things personally.
And, while it is human to take things personally from time to time, it is not healthy or productive to persistently enact this habit.
Why Do We Take Things Personally?
- We have a self-limiting belief that says that what the person has said is in some way true
- We don’t feel we have the right to stand up for ourselves
- We do not take time to recover, reflect and get perspective on situations that affect us negatively
- We have a habit of putting others before ourselves
What is the Impact of Taking Things Personally?
- We feel disrespected and powerless
- We feel anxious and distracted
- We tend to act out from a place of hurt
- We start to over-react and misinterpret what we see and hear
- We start to sleep poorly
- We get into a spiral of negativity that feed the feelings of powerlessness and resentment
7 Steps on How to Stop Ourselves from Taking Things Personally
- Present: Take time to become aware of where you take things personally. Notice your thoughts when you are in these situations and write them down in a journal for a week
- Review: What do you notice from your observations? What can you learn from these?
- Exercise your right to take back your personal power. Give yourself permission to take on one or more of these rights:
You have the right to:
o Be treated with respect
o Express your opinions, feelings and needs
o Say no without feeling guilty
o Your own happy and healthy life
- Surrender your negative thoughts
- Evidence: shift your thoughts by seeking evidence to prove them wrong
- Negate and replace the negative beliefs with positive beliefs e.g. I am ok, I do not need people’s approval, I am a good person
- Take action by reading these new programmes every day for the next 56 – 90 days to create new neural pathways. Find people to support you in this journey
What I Know for Sure:
- Holding onto negative self-limiting beliefs creates “stuckness” and anger in your life that are really symptoms of hurt and powerlessness
- You hold the key to conquering this self-limiting habit
- Becoming present will help you to identify in what situations you tend to take things personally
5 Minute Exercise
Plan to take time to notice and journal your negative thoughts this next week so that you can start to identify the patterns and beliefs that have been created so that you can surrender, shift and replace these with positive programmes.
Over to You
- What do you tend to take personally?
- How effective are you in managing the outcome of these feelings?
- What is your one tip that you’d like to share on taking things personally?
See you at the top!