It's that time of the month again for "Pick Me Up Please" and this month's theme is all about "How to Manage Difficult People at Work"
If you haven't already checked out last month's inspirational quotes supporting valuable workplace solutions to a host of concerns, then click here to access them.
To begin this month's learning, I have a question for you:
"How do you influence people when they have done wrong and yet don't see they have done wrong?"
Let's say they have said something inappropriate and offensive in front of other staff about the quality of your work.
You are secretly furious and at the same time deeply embarrassed because it's not the first time this has happened in such a public forum.
- Ignore the situation and pretend it didn't happen
- Awkwardly approach the person and let them know they have hurt/angered you/embarrassed you
- React in the moment by sharing what you think about them in a way that you later regret
On the surface of it, none of these look like likely answers, however conflict is not going to get easier unless we learn to deal with it constructively.
Let's work through these possible answers to dealing with conflict....Question 1: Ignore it
When you ignore the situation, it will only fester and worsen the relationship between the two of you. Depending on the culture of your department or area it may also infect others in your team to take sides and that will never be pretty and lead to lasting damage.Question 2: Awkwardly Approach and Deal with it
Dealing with conflict often makes us feel vulnerable and awkward because it causes us to step up in using our higher level skills of communication and emotional intelligence.Awkwardness gets better with practice and confidence is only built when you experience success in facing your fears and assertively tackling the issue rather than the person.Question 3: React and Regret
It is entirely human and understandable to hit back when someone has hurt and embarrassed us.
Especially when they make fun of you in a mean way in public.
How often do you have the "best response you would have loved to have said - 5 minutes after the fact?
And then you proceed to ruminate and replay the situation over and over again in your head, becoming obsessed and moody?
The problem when we deal with inappropriate behaviour with our own inappropriate behaviour is that we step out of congruence with our values.
And this sends our brain and biology into meltdown
.The best answer to dealing with inappropriate behaviour is to face it head on, however awkwardly you may come across.
At least you have taken a stand and drawn your line - with positive intent - in the sand.
And this is the starting point to managing conflict.....
As author Carlton Smith shared,
“All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.”
What do you think - go down to the comments section below and let me know......
Until tomorrow, I will
See you at the top,